It’s all about the journey, not the destination.
New year, new me?
Forget about it… (or, if you have ever watched Mickey Blue Eyes, hey, fuggeddabout it!)
Forget about setting goals! I know, we are heading into a new year, and what do we normally do? Correct! We set goals – New Year’s resolutions that get swept away by the fireworks. Well, depending on how big your New Year’s resolution is, it could just blow up with the fireworks.
Be honest here, how many goals have you set for yourself and how successful have they been? Or how many times have you set the same goal every year, almost like you are living a Groundhog Day, just to fall into repetitive patterns with no success? Does this all sound too familiar to you?
Well, come a little closer and allow me to let you in on a little secret.
We get so focused on what we want that we lose the ‘present’ moment – the very journey itself. We fantasise about the bigger house, the better relationship or more money… only to be left feeling overwhelmed, overworked and experiencing burnout.
Worrying is using your imagination in the wrong way
‘Wisdom’ tells us that the best way to achieve what we want out of life is by worrying less, relaxing more and getting out of our own way to allow our higher intelligence do its magic.
Say what? Yes!
Completely the opposite of what you have been doing all of these years.
Once you are very clear about your aim in life, your path, your journey, your destiny, then all you have to decide is “how can I make sure to align myself with this aim?” After you have the vision, just be that very thing you want to be.
I am sure you want to know how, right? Well, start with an end in mind and put a date on it. For example, let’s say in 3 months’ time you want to be more fit as a whole. Then, you reverse engineer your entire approach. Just like that.
The reason? When you are so fixed on your goal and focused on the outcome, you are not in touch with the ‘now’. And the ‘now’, darling, is where the magic happens.
Live less out of habit and more out of intent
Goals are good for setting a direction. Nevertheless, they can be fleeting if you neglect the daily attention required for them. Your only goal should be to concentrate on your attention each day towards your greater aim. To do so, simply check in with yourself – are your thoughts, feelings and actions aligned with your aim?
That’s all you need to focus on!
It’s just like organising a trip to Europe. You may decide to spend the months of June and July in Europe for 6 weeks. That’s your aim as a whole.
Afterwards, you would decide what countries in Europe you would like to visit over the 6 weeks. Then, you may map out Italy, France and Spain, two weeks in each country. Moving forward, you would set a timeline for your aim, where you actually set dates for each visit. The next step would be to start mapping out specific places you going to visit in Europe. Finally, you would go ahead and book all of your accommodation and flights.
When you set your goals, do you do this much planning and mapping out?
Most people don’t, and that’s the cold hard truth.
They may set a goal, but surely not map it all out like the Europe trip. Then, they wonder why they relive their goals each year without bringing them to fruition.
You see, once you have mapped it all out, you live each day with intention.
Set a daily intention – the pathway or the road. After, focus on your attention each day – your car that travels along your path that is heading towards your aim. It’s that easy!
We build too many walls and not enough bridges
An aim can be a lifestyle choice, like the desire to be fitter and healthier in your approach.
When you set a goal that you want to lose 5 kilos, all you focus on is what you are not allowed to have, only to crave it even more. A goal has an end date. Just like a diet, it’s short-lived and unsuccessful.
However, an aim doesn’t always have an end date. It may never finish. It’s a lifestyle.
With an aim in mind, your focus would be on what your daily intention is to achieve it and your attention each day to make it happen.
We are the ones that get in the way of our success and achievements. We are the ones that build way too many walls as to why it’s not happening for us. Nobody else.
Work with your brain
Another super cool piece of information is that your brain has your back.
You see, your brain works way ahead of time, before you even know it. Once you have clarity about the ‘what’, your reticulating activating system (RAS) is already in motion.
Let’s have a closer look at our RAS. Have you ever had a situation where you saw a car, you liked the car, you invest some time with the car by taking it for a test drive, you decide to purchase the car and then all of a sudden you see your car everywhere?
Well, that’s your RAS at work. It’s doing the job for you, making sure that you are at the right place at the right time.
There are no coincidences! You create them.
Celebrate the little wins
Goals in itself can steal away your happiness. I can’t tell you how often I hear individuals say “when I achieve or get this, I will be happy”.
Why not start with being happy? How would you live your day each day? Different, right?
Achieving a goal is only a momentary change. The continuous small improvements are the ones that truly matter.
Instead of worrying about results all the time, we need to shift our focus to our journey.
Our daily attention.