It’s so easy, when things go wrong, to blame other people. Whether it’s something as simple as being late, or a really big stuff up, we’re all guilty of wanting to find a scapegoat. Part of the reason we do this is because it’s easier to be mad at someone else, than it is to be mad at ourselves, but you know what?
When you blame someone else, you give up your own power. YOU become the victim. Say what? Yes. It’s true.
Every single human being you meet is fighting a battle that you know nothing about – stewing over an argument with their spouse, day three of a diet and battling with the new regime, worried about a health problem or the health of a loved one. Nervous for a child sitting exams today. We’re all intrinsically linked, and we all have a story that’s our own, which is also interwoven with the people we love and care for.
So, instead of blame. Why not try compassion on for size?
The purpose of human life is to serve and to show compassion. Compassion is love. It’s understanding. It’s better than the anger and frustration, and separation that comes with blame.
Life responds to demand …
In order to demand, you have to know what you want, because life will draw you to all of the things that are associated with your beliefs and … this is how you create your life. So, you can’t go blaming anyone for where you are today.
We are all here to learn more about ourselves, and the world around us is a patient and persistent teacher. Life is a bit like driving a car… if you slow down a bit, enjoy the scenery, and pay attention to the signs and signals along the way, then you can enjoy the journey and it will go smoothly. But when you hurtle through – in a hurry to get to the next event or the next destination ASAP, and if possible even yesterday! …. Well, that’s when you can get lost, or stuck.
Most of the time, we’re shown what we need to learn, if we choose to pay attention. But most of us decide to walk through life with our eyes closed and we resist change. And then we blame others for ‘why’ we are where we are.
When we do that, we give our power away! We ignore opportunities to do things differently and create different outcomes for ourselves, because being on ‘autopilot’ is easier than actually doing the work required to change.
Negative beliefs are like putting a lampshade over your light …
Have you ever experienced a situation or a relationship that is not working? Perhaps your partner had an affair or you maybe didn’t get that work promotion.
You have two choices: to stay or go.
For argument’s sake, let’s say you leave, and as time goes by you find yourself in another relationship or in another job. At the beginning it seems new, and different and exciting … but as time goes on … the script starts to become eerily similar to what’s happened before. Different guy, different job but same pattern.
To face the truth, you need to go inside of yourself and seek the answers as to ‘why’ this situation is repeating itself. Ask yourself:
- What beliefs do I need to clean out?
- What do I need to do to stop attracting these same scenarios?
- What are my belief systems that are blocking the good?
We are here to learn, not to be punished, not to fear, not to suffer. The universe is abundant; anything we want is here for the taking. Therefore, ask yourself, what do I want out of life? And why have I not received it?
Lessons will chase you around the world …
No matter how fast or how far you run, the lesson will always prevail at another time, in another way. What you resist will persist! Your life is a perfect reflection of your beliefs; mirror effect – like attracts like. The only option you have, is to bring it all back to you. Don’t blame, don’t play the victim. Don’t judge. Instead, empower yourself by being responsible for all of your actions – past and present, and future. Own your ‘stuff’ … your baggage, your ‘why I do the things I do…” Because when you do, you’ll finally feel pure and undiluted self-respect.
The fact that our outer world is a reflection of our inner world can sometimes be a difficult concept to understand. Quite simply, it means that we all hold the power within us to effect change. By focusing on our inner world and changing our thoughts and beliefs, we will eventually manifest everything we desire – the perfect job, rewarding relationships, positive outcomes with people we meet. Of course, we will also experience vast improvements within ourselves, from our self-worth and confidence to our outlook on life.
The key to success is to start before you are ready …
The key to success is quite simply not to let the outside world dominate how we feel and what we believe on the inside. We need to harness the strength of our inner world to combat the challenges we face in the outer world. By focusing inwards, we can make changes outwards. But because everything needs balance to create harmony, we need to look at the outside world often – it works as a guide, a compass that helps us to direct our energy.
An easy, effective tool is a mirror. When something happens in your world that stirs a negative emotion – such as unhappiness, discomfort, fear, anger etc. – look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself ‘why am I creating this?’ Once you begin to be accountable and responsible for all of your own actions, you will discover how empowering it can be.
This is especially true in situations that can be emotionally charged. When we react, we tend to lose our cool. Often, we lose our ability to think intuitively and logically about the situation and we communicate poorly and make rash decisions.
We cannot control the wind, but we can direct the sail …
When we lash out, and ‘react’ rather than ‘respond’ we lose our power to control the outcome of the situation in accordance with what we want and need in our lives.
By keeping cool-headed and calm, you can buy yourself time to figure it out later. The benefits are many:
- You can think over the solution and strike a compromise that keeps everybody content – this is never possible in the heat of an argument!
- You don’t lose your dignity or self-respect.
- You avoid making the situation potentially worse by inflaming it with heightened emotions. Igniting it will only get in the way of a sensible outcome and also run the risk that someone will get their feelings hurt.
When someone hits a ‘hot button’ within us, it’s easy to get carried away with the ‘automatic’ and ‘unconscious’ reaction. Taking a moment to compose yourself so that you can respond in an un-agitated way will mean that you can keep your personal power.
That’s the real gold.
If you learn self-control you can master anything …
So, here’s what we know. Thoughts and beliefs are forces of energy that shape or impact our lives. A thought that is directed with intention and focus repeatedly is very powerful. Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity says it perfectly: ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result’.
We each have an abundance of possibilities and opportunities available to us at all times. It is up to us to create the change that’s needed to help us thrive in this life, and not merely survive.