One of the greatest gifts we have in life, is the gift of choice: the freedom to choose. The flipside of course, is that we are not free from the consequences of our choices. And sometimes, the consequences of our choices are not immediate, and – because we are not able to predict the future – we never quite know what they are. To add a bit more intrigue and complexity, not every situation is completely black or white … and we need to navigate our way through the grey.
And then there’s those times when it just seems impossible to decide!
But, you know what? Indecision can be good for you.
When you feel stuck and there’s no obvious path ahead, it’s important not to make a decision. This is called ‘allowing’ … and it is all about just acknowledging that indecision exists. And not doing anything about it. Allowing enables you to just ‘be’ in the circumstances until they pass, or until new influential information comes to light. Allowing gives you the opportunity to reflect: to think about the point you’re at, where you want to be, and where this particular decision might have the ability to take you. At times like this journaling can be a powerful tool.
Internal conflict is an opportunity for growth
If you’re truly in conflict and it’s causing you hesitation or uncertainty, then there’s even more reason not to do anything …. Yet.
Internal struggles are an opportunity to ‘unpack’ all of the issues around the current situation and examine more closely those we might be having difficulty with. Sometimes, indecision comes not from the situation presented to us, but from our deep-seated beliefs. And if we can look at them objectively, it’s easier to face them, resolve them and make the decision required and move forward.
It can help to:
- Recognize the conflict or indecision.
- Gather all the information that is relevant to the problem /opportunity. What do you need to know before you make your decision?
- Find alternative meanings for the situation. Ask yourself, is this something else in disguise? What else could it mean for me? Be as creative as possible and write down at least 6 different options.
- Consider your decision. There’s always more than one option. What are they? What are the potential outcomes? Write them down and notice which ones you feel more aligned to, know which ones support your values and beliefs.
- Put a plan in place to support your decision.A plan is very important to have; quite often we jump into making a decision without taking a few minutes to think through all of the possible consequences.Take note of those times when you feel strongly opposed to a person or an idea or a situation too. Our emotions are good indicators, but they can lead us astray if they are used solely to make a decision. We need to evaluate thoroughly so that practicalities can be taken into account too.When we make decisions, especially those big life-changers, it is important that we understand what we’re deciding and why because the decisions we make move us forward in our lives – or give us the momentum to change direction. And so long as we make choices that are based on:
- ‘standing in our own truth’
- doing what’s right for ourselves at that time
- understanding of what we’re doing and why
… then we have nothing to fear. Because decisions made with this kind of mindful intention will always lead us to where we need to be.